2004-12-16 : Christmas is a time of beards.

I'm not sure how quite to segue into this discussion, so I'll go with my usual approach of just blundering into it unexpectedly instead.

There's been some advertising on here lately for various steps forward in the world of shaving technology. The most ludicrous to me seems to be this new razor which has not 2, not 3, but 4 blades !! I'm not kidding !? 4 blades ! Can you imagine the amount of scrap metal that would yield afterwards ? If they'd had those in WWII, the prisoners could have melted all that steel down and built cantilever bridges to drive their improvised razor-steel Sherman tanks out of the POW camps on!

Not to be outdone, the competing razor manufacturer has devised a 3 blade razor which – sensibly – also has batteries in the stem, and the idea is that the razor delivers “micropulses” to your skin to improve the shaving process.

The entire process reminds me somewhat of a sketch from the classic ABC comedy of the early 90's, The Late Show, where at one point they unveiled the world's greatest breakthrough in shaving technology – the NASA/Gillette 3000:

The first blade distracts the hair, while the second and third blades sneak up behind it, cutting off any escape routes. The fourth and fifth blades attempt to coax the hair from its hiding place using modern modern counselling techniques while the sixth blade, posing as a passing motorist, acts as a decoy, allowing the seventh and eighth blades to swoop down and quickly overpower the hair. The ninth blade, disguised as a postman, administers a small dose of chloroform, allowing blades 10 through 13 to remove the hair and escort it away for further questioning. The 14th blade informs the hair of its rights. The 15th blade handles the paperwork and the 16th blade, well, it's just along for the ride.

Pure comedy !

Ah but anyway, back to real life – for some bizarre reason, I was thinking the other day that out of all the things I own at the moment, the longest surviving possession of mine is my Gillette Sensor Excel Sport razor stalk, given to me in 1991 at Glenunga International High School for no apparent reason; in the daily notices they just said that any boys who wanted a free razor could come down and collect one from Mr Dredge. It seems a bit stupid, but now – 13 years on – I'm still using the same razor stalk ! Granted, most of the paint's flaked off it now, and the docking clamp bit frequently loses grip on the razor head bit… maybe it's finally time to shell out for a new one (seems only reasonable – that one was free, after all).

And briefly back to The Late Show – anyone who remembers Piffy will be excited to know he's got his own website