I know that sitting around wishing for vast amounts of cash to appear in one’s bank account is a fairly silly thing to be doing, however wouldn’t it be nice to be able to convince once of these guys to hand over 0.1% of their take-home pay?

The chief prompter of this vein of thought is, regrettably, that I recently read about a Hollywood prop auction that’s going on at the minute.  Now, there’s not much that could be any more frivilous than buying props from films – they’re not even real things!  They’re mostly mockups designed to look like things, which are replaced with ACTUAL things at appropriate points in filming, or post-edited with effects to make the pretend things look like they’re functioning like real things.

Additionally, most people would have learned from past experience – I sort of kind of maybe accidentally put a little bit of a bid in on a hollywood auction once before…  Well you know how it is – you go out for a couple of orange sherberts with the lads, then come home & decide that your life won’t be complete until you own the golf club from Dogma as used by Cardinal Glick (George Carlin) – lot 1053.  Luckily someone wanted it more than USD$400 bad.  You’d have think I’d have learned from the Duck Call Incident.

The difference here though is that for a mere USD$25,000 you could own The Holy Grail.  Naturally, not the authentic grail as used in the Bible and quested after by King Arthur et al, but “real” in the sense as it’s the actual one used in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

This, above all, is probably the reason why it’s a good idea that I don’t have the kind of cash alluded to in the first paragraph.  Were I to be free of such financial constraints then I’d also have to find places to keep The Ten Commandments (although maybe it’d be fun to stick them in a replica Ark of the Covenant ?), an Adam West-ian Bat Radio, a spear from The Wizard of Oz, a pair of C3PO feet, the “Here’s Johnny” axe from The Shining, the priest’s headdress worn by Conan the Barbarian, the key (shaped like a golden weenkie) to the tractor beam belonging to Goldmember, and of course on the side of my shed it would be a requirement to have the airlock handle from Aliens.

Heh heh… Bay 12, please.

If anyone at all has the urge to pick that lot up for me, you’re most welcome to do so – I’ll find places to keep most of it, I’m sure.  And that lot’s only estimated to go for a hundred and seventy two grand!  With the change from 1/4 of a million you could probably pick up Christopher Reeve’s Superman costume, and a pair of James Bond cufflinks as a stocking stuffer.

🌳 Buy me a Tree