I suspect this is all getting a bit silly… I recall reporting with some amusement last Christmas about the release of a 4 bladed razor. It appears that Gillette have upped the ante a bit with the announcement of their latest product due in 2006 – the Gillette Fusion. In another dramatic step towards the prophecied “Nasa/Gillette 3000”, they've created a razor with 5 BLADES and 2 LUBRICATING STRIPS !

In addition to the 5 on the front, it comes with a single blade on the back of the cartridge, which is used for beard & sideburn trimming, and which makes it the only cartridge on the market that I figure you can't possibly safely retrieve when it inevitably pops off the stalk in the shower.

I understand it also juliennes carrots very capably.

I'm not sure how many rubber microfins it has along the front (the Mach 3 has five, the Mach 3 Turbo has 10, and the M3 Power has 15), however it comes with a revolutionary new lubricating strip that changes colour once “optimum shaving conditions” have been passed. Call me old fashioned, but I always thought the idea was that you replaced the cartridge when you could feel the blade(s) getting a bit blunt ? Now they've got a handy-dandy strip to tell you when to change as well ?! Isn't technology marvellous !! I'll bet the strip only lasts in its Optimum Shaving Zone colour for about 2 to 3 shaves…

The last razor I saw that was anywhere near approaching this hi-tech was being spoken into by Liam Neeson.

2005-10-27 : All your beards are belong to us
🌳 Buy me a Tree