Movie Category: Piece of Shit

Ticket to Paradise 0

Ticket to Paradise

Christ, what a turd this was.  Warring divorced parents conspire to ruin high-achieving daughter’s wedding to Balinese seaweed farmer, and learn about love on the way & end up together.  To think we paid...

Chef 0


I really, really didn’t like this.  And it wasn’t based on preconception because I’d never heard a thing about it. It was probably my curiousity about seeing Jon Favreau at work after having watched...

A Castle for Christmas 0

A Castle for Christmas

Every now and again there’s a film that we don’t finish because it’s too thunderingly shit – but I write about it here as a warning to whoever chances past to avoid it at...

Thunder Force 0

Thunder Force

Thunder Farce. I reckon they came up with one implausible scenario/joke for this, then built a film around it.  I could never understand the opprobrium out there aimed at Melissa McCarthy, however after seeing...

Doom 0


105 minutes of first-person-shooter-game-based bollocks.  We made it through about the first 18.  Am only noting it here in case future me wonders whether I’ve seen this and searches the blog… just so the...

Cats 0


Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.  👎 👎

Pain & Gain 0

Pain & Gain

Dammit. Why does The Rock keep signing on to do terrible films? Textbook exercise in taking too damn long to get the story set up, and we bailed after 20 mins because we Just....

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island 0

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island

THIS FILM WAS A MASSIVE PIECE OF SHIT. Normally I wouldn’t writeup/count a film I hadn’t seen all of, but I feel like putting these words here & next to each other is in...

The Brothers Grimsby 0

The Brothers Grimsby

This is possibly cinema’s new low-point.  I’m weirdly defensive of the work of Sacha Baron Cohen, believing him to be a far more intelligent social commentator and exposer of peoples’ prejudices than a perfunctory...

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny 0

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny

OH MY GOD. This turd of a film was the sequel that nobody needed. Like millions of people, I was captivated by Ang Lee’s 2000 martial arts masterpiece, and so held disproportionately high hopes...