Ticket to Paradise

Christ, what a turd this was.  Warring divorced parents conspire to ruin high-achieving daughter’s wedding to Balinese seaweed farmer, and learn about love on the way & end up together.  To think we paid money in a cinema to watch

Senior Year

Few films can stand out as being “truly dire” – but this was one of them.  Basically forcing the “different generation” trope as a woman who’s been in a coma for 20 years returns to her high school to complete


I really, really didn’t like this.  And it wasn’t based on preconception because I’d never heard a thing about it. It was probably my curiousity about seeing Jon Favreau at work after having watched a load of his Star Wars

A Castle for Christmas

Every now and again there’s a film that we don’t finish because it’s too thunderingly shit – but I write about it here as a warning to whoever chances past to avoid it at all costs, in the hope that

Thunder Force

Thunder Farce. I reckon they came up with one implausible scenario/joke for this, then built a film around it.  I could never understand the opprobrium out there aimed at Melissa McCarthy, however after seeing this and Life Of The Party


105 minutes of first-person-shooter-game-based bollocks.  We made it through about the first 18.  Am only noting it here in case future me wonders whether I’ve seen this and searches the blog… just so the mistake’s not repeated.  👎 👎


Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.  👎 👎

Pain & Gain

Dammit. Why does The Rock keep signing on to do terrible films? Textbook exercise in taking too damn long to get the story set up, and we bailed after 20 mins because we Just. Didn’t. Care.  Might be an excellent

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island

THIS FILM WAS A MASSIVE PIECE OF SHIT. Normally I wouldn’t writeup/count a film I hadn’t seen all of, but I feel like putting these words here & next to each other is in some way a public service that

The Brothers Grimsby

This is possibly cinema’s new low-point.  I’m weirdly defensive of the work of Sacha Baron Cohen, believing him to be a far more intelligent social commentator and exposer of peoples’ prejudices than a perfunctory skim of his work would suggest…

🌳 Buy me a Tree