The Brothers Grimsby

This is possibly cinema’s new low-point.  I’m weirdly defensive of the work of Sacha Baron Cohen, believing him to be a far more intelligent social commentator and exposer of peoples’ prejudices than a perfunctory skim of his work would suggest… however this was just bollocks.  Why Mark Strong would agree …

Faster

We weren’t really paying attention in this – it’s got The Rock, but he’s playing a sort-of-bad-guy (as you’re constantly reminded by the prosthetic scars) on a revenge mission: it makes a tilt at moral ambiguity but you never really get there, and in the end I think we only …

Walking Tall

No, we’re NOT obsessed with The Rock.  We can stop watching his films any time we want…  no, YOU’RE crying. etc.  So, this one’s BASED ON A TRUE STORY (credible), where an ex-marine goes back to his hometown but doesn’t wanna get involved in the shenanigans at the casino, gets …

Skyscraper

Standard awesome Dwayne Johnson fare – set in a 130+ storey high bleeding-edge-tech building, the titular “skyscraper” – and just for shits & giggles Johnson’s character has an artificial leg.  Which, y’know, I’m sure was a centrepiece of the original screenplay.

Rampage

When someone bases a film on the giant-mutant-gorilla/lizard/wolf-centred video game which the designers famously described as “a game that there was really no wrong way to play”, this is exactly what you end up with.  Granted, the film had much more plot than the game.  So whilst Dwayne Johnson makes …

Baywatch

Did I already mention the weekend movie hierarchy around here?  Typically if we’re not watching one of the Tv series we go through, next request will be “Let’s watch a shit movie!”, so it’s either romcoms or disaster films, or ANYTHING starring The Rock.  This film was a magnificent exponent …

The Gentlemen

Guy Ritchie seemingly signs on all his current cool acting mates for another convoluted extensively-casted crime caper, this time with Hugh Grant, Colin Farrell, Charlie Hunnam, Matthew McConaughey et al. Hunnam seems unable to deliver anything nuanced (albeit a much better performance than he turned in in King Arthur), but …

Snitch

The combination of Dwayne Johnson, the phrase “based on a true story”, and an IMDB rating of 6.4 probably best convey what this tale of a construction company owner going undercover to free his wrongfully imprisoned son is going to deliver.  Severely fails the “Yeah, but you wouldn’t, would you?” …

Big Trouble in Little China

Y’know what Jack Burton always says on a dark & stormy night, with the wind howling and the pillars of heaven shaking? Timeless classic that has all the ingredients of AWESOME. Why people even bothered making more films after this came out is completely beyond me.

Angel Has Fallen

3rd instalment in the “… Has Fallen” franchise, starring Gerard Butler (in this case, looking more like Russell Crowe). Really ought to have called this “Standards Have Fallen”.  Liz fell asleep, and I can’t see her dialling back in to catch the bits she missed.  Apart from a pretty kickass …