2007-07-12 : OK, so it moves. A little bit.
Turns out all that computer bollards was because of a cacked hard drive. Have replaced it (NOT with a Western Digital – that company's now officially on my shitlist. I reckon 6 of the 7 hard drives I've ever had die were WD's. That's it.), and surprisingly had no trouble so far.
Still getting a Mac though.